A Divided Heart

A person with a divided heart has a divided mind. The person with a double mind should not dream of having anything from God, for that person is unstable in all his ways.– James 1:7

As a Christian, God desires for us to use our special gifts and talents to help spread the gospel. Maybe you deliver cookies to a neighbor; or maybe you speak words of encouragement to someone who needs to hear it. When we do these things from the heart, filled with love; then we are living out the gospel.

As a singer and conference speaker; I too, use my god given talents to bring hope and inspiration to others. Most of this is done through social media to various church organizations and women’s groups. With the many emails, texts and calls; it is frustrating for me with all the negative responses. A realization that faith is being lost, trying to live in a troubled and confused world that has lost hope. These negative responses challenged my own faith to a point where I stopped believing in myself; complaining and murmuring to God that maybe it’s time for me to quit!

With a troubled heart, I found myself fumbling through the pages of the bible. I was led to read the story of God leading Moses and the Israelites into the wilderness; a desert that can only be described as dry, parched and baron. Forty days and forty nights had passed; and throughout it all, the Israelites lost hope, stopped believing, complained about everything and just wanted to give up. But; Moses had surrendered his whole heart in obedience to what God was asking him to do. With many miracles along the journey, the Israelites reached the promised land and experienced the freedom they longed for and so well deserved.

Inspired by this story I began to journal, but then found myself drawing a heart with a line down the middle. On the left side of this divided heart I wrote “God loves Lorraine,” and on the right side of this divided heart I wrote “Lorraine loves music.”

As I stared at the drawing I began to feel a tear running down my cheek; a realization that maybe I was loving the career and the attention it brought me, rather than loving God completely. Maybe I was trying too hard to make things happen on my own, rather than trusting God and His plan. Then I heard a quiet inner voice, ask this question; “Lorraine, if you never sing another song, will you still love me”

James 1:7 is a good reminder to each of us that when we are living in a state of compromise, when half of me lives for God and the other half lives for myself, we may not always be granted the greatest desires of our hearts. But always know that God loves you and will never forsake you. His greatest desire for you is to come closer to Him. To grow in a stronger faith that we might endure trials and tribulations in a troubled world. So let us not give up hope, let us not be quitters; God will always lead us to where we should go!

Is my heart divided? Are their loves that I am hanging onto, that keep me away from loving and knowing God completely and wholeheartedly?

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Claire

    Such good view on our relationship with our God. Thank you

    1. lorrainehartsook

      Thanks Claire

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